A Revised Food Pyramid
Welcome back honey!If I ruled the world, I can think of a few immediate changes I would make. First of all, children won’t be allowed out into the real world until they’re at least 17 years old. B: all handicapped people who park in non-handicapped parking spaces will have their little blue wheelchair logo revoked. And the third thing I would change is the food pyramid.
No more of this fruits and vegetables at the bottom stuff. If I ruled the world, the food pyramid would look something like this: We have the bottom of the pyramid, which would be Italian foods like pizza, pasta and calzones. Then there’s the middle, foods you should have 6 to 8 servings of each day. This would be mexican food, burritos, nachos and quesadillas. Finally, at the top of the pyramid you’d have the BBQ’ed food group. Hamburgers, hotdogs, steaks, lemonaide. Even though the top of the pyramid is supposed to be foods you eat the least, I think you should eat BBQ just as much as the foods at the bottom. So I guess, this is more of a food hourglass. But, whatever...
Now, even though I love BBQs, I realize that not everybody does. If you’ve been invited to a BBQ and you just can’t imagine actually going, here are some great excuses to get out of going to a barbeque.
Ol’ Smokey: I’d love to go to your BBQ, but the grill smoke irritates my sinuses and I can’t breathe the rest of the day.
Principle Of The Thing: I recently saw a video of a slaughterhouse and I’m going to be a vegetarian so I can’t support your consuming of defenseless animal flesh.
Alergic Retraction: My Hay-Fever has really been acting up lately and I’m worried that if I went to your barbeque, I’d be too busy sneezing and wheezing to actually eat anything.
Angry Bovine: I heard that there’s another strain of Mad Cow Disease circulating and I’d rather not take any chances with meat.
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