Revolting Excuses
Welcome back honey!
The 4th of July is a time for hamburgers, hot-dogs and mosquitoes. It’s when we celebrate being American by consuming vast amounts of imported beer and lighting off illegal fireworks. Of course, 200-ish years ago, the 4th of July meant something very different. Our nation was finally free and independent from those meanies, The British Empire. Becoming an independent country didn’t happen overnight. It took plenty of time and cost just as many would-be American’s lives.
Today I wonder just how an American Revolution would work. We have so many better ways to communicate than hanging some lanterns in a church steeple. Between Twitter, Video Cellphones and Facebook, if there were a revolution, rest assured it would be televised... and tweeted. We also have blogs, which are a great way to get people from all over to share their opinions on things. If revolutionaries had access to A Good Excuse Blog wayyyy back then, the USA might not exist right now. Luckily they didn’t and we do. Here are some excuses for those who want to avoid joining a 1770's style Revolution:
Little Suckers: 5 of my 7 children just came down with Typhoid Fever and I need to stay home or else they’ll just take the leeches off as soon as I walk out the door.
Hat-ititude: I can’t revolt today because my Tri-Corner Hat is in the shop getting it’s corners straightened. 
Prior Engadgement: I’d love to go to the battlefield with you today, but I promised my friend Ben Arnold that I’d meet him at West Point for lunch.
Slow Poke: My horse has been depressed lately. He’s been walking so slow that I don’t think I’d even make it to the battlefield until tomorrow.
Party Animal: I just got back from a Tea Party in Boston and I need time to take all this Indian makeup off.
Obviously, these are just joke excuses. I truly love my country and I am proud to say I am an American. And no, I’m not actually counting on any colonial time travelers coming to the future just to read my blog… yet.