How to Get out Of Attending Another Borring-Ass Meeting
Welcome back honey!There was a time when I wanted to be a business executive. I thought that being a CEO of a major corporation would be just about the best thing ever. Then I realized that being a CEO
involves learning all about business, legal things, etc and my dream quickly evaporated. Unfortunately, I had already signed up for a summer internship program through my school. I had committed 8 long weeks of my life to working in an office . My primary duties consisted of making copies and coffee… and once when I was really bored, copies of coffee.
I quickly realized that this office didn’t have a clue what to do with an intern like me, who had all the motivation of a slice of Swiss cheese. I didn’t care about business and they could tell. Eventually they just stopped giving me real jobs and put me in charge of decorating the office and party planning. In that time, I got to know some of the lazier co-workers.
My new friends told me about how they sometimes took naps under their desks (just like George Costanza!), stretched out 10 minute breaks into hour-long get-togethers by migrating from water cooler, to candy machine, to coffee maker and back again, and they told me they had an ongoing game as to who could find the best way to get out of their daily planning meetings. Over the course of 2 months, I had amassed a great arsenel of Office Excuses, which I will now pass on to you.
Here are some fantastic excuses for Not Attending A Meeting,
What a Spaz: My 
ankle just started spazming. It usually goes away if I walk around for 15 minutes or so, but if I sit around it will only get worse so I won’t be able to come to this morning’s meeting.
Meeting Crasher: My (whatever program you use most often) just crashed on me and I lost everything I was working on. It’s due in half an hour so I need to hurry up and re-do it or it’ll be late.
The Big Call: My client is going to be calling me in about 10 minutes and I’m close to closing a deal. I can’t afford to miss the call because I was in a meeting.
Bad Burrito: I had one of those microwaveable burritos for lunch but I think it was expired because I keep feeling like I’m about to throw up and I don’t think it would good if I vomited all over our conference table.