Have you ever been in a relationship and it feels like every day you’re with that person is another day wasted that you’ll never get back? When you both drive somewhere together, do you find yourself fantasizing about pressing the ejector seat and launching them and their stupid hat into the stratosphere? Have you ever had dreams where you “accidentally” shaved off your boyfriend’s hair while he was sleeping and then you wake up standing over him and holding an electric hair trimmer? If so, never fear because ExcuseGal’s here!
Now, some of you may remember a post from a few months ago where we discussed some good break-up excuses. Well we got some requests on Twitter to post some more. Apparently a lot of people out there just have no idea how to break it off. If you feel like your relationship is on a non-stop train to nowhere, whip out one of these break-up excuses and you’ll be able to get off at the very next stop.
Laugh-In: You have a really annoying laugh and I can’t go out with someone who I’m embarrassed to go to the movies with.
Mirror, Mirror: You remind me too much of one of my ex-boyfriends. I can’t even look at you without seeing him.
Relationship Rift: We’ve been growing apart for a while now and I think it’s time we both see other people.
Luck of the Draw: I just won the lottery and I don’t want the money to come between us, so let’s break up now.
So, there you have it. Four more great break-up excuses for you to use next time you lose yourself in a bad relationship haze.
I was never a super popular kid in elementary school. Or junior high. Or high school. When I got to college though, I realized that there were no longer popular and unpopular kids. In college, everyone is there by choice so they just hang around with other like minded people. Because of this, I think everyone has an equal chance a popularity within their own group. This is the way society is meant to be.
Unfortunately, popularity is kind of a double edged sword. It’s great when people want to be around you, but it’s not so great if you don’t want to be around them. Since I’ve been in college I’ve gotten quite a few date requests that I’ve had to turn down.
Here are some excuses for not going out with somebody:
Blame The ‘Rents: "My parents are super-strict and they don’t let me date people who aren’t my same “religion/nationality/hair color” as me."
Dating Pool: "Sorry but I don’t date people who go to the same school as me."
Extreme Focus: "I need to stay focused on my career/school work and I don’t want to get involved with somebody right now."
Type-Cast: "I think you’re great, but you’re just not my type."
Today’s excuse comes directly from our own ExcuseGal and her childhood growing up. Since, as usual, she’s too camera shy to actually do these video blogs herself, ExcuseGuy will be performing the role of ExcuseGal. So, you’ll just have to imagine he's about a foot and a half shorter and is a girl.
My mom made the best dinners ever. I can still remember coming home from elementary school and sitting down to a nice plate of homemade macaroni and cheese. When I got to high school, my Dad took over making dinners. He worked all day and came home and tried to figure out what to make. As a result, he got pretty great at creating excuses for being late with dinner. I never minded because he worked so hard to take care of me and my sister.
Here are some of my dad’s best "late-dinner" excuses.
Mis-Print: I think the recipe had a typo. It said to bake it for 6 minutes at 350, but it must have meant 60 minutes because it doesn’t look done yet.
The Fallen: I had a cheese soufflé in the oven for us, but the soufflé fell when the oven door slammed. Now I have to start all over on a different recipe.
Late Dinner: I just read today that the last meal of the day should be eaten about 4 hours before you go to bed. Since you typically go to bed at midnight, I pushed dinner back to 8 o’clock.
This final excuse has been copy and pasted directly from an email my dad sent me on my first week of college. I thought it was a great excuse, so I kept the email.
Market Troubles: “…I spent a bunch of time preparing to make macaroni and cheese but then I found out we had no macaroni so I went to the store, but all they had was the big ones which I know you don’t like, so I went to Safeway and got some of the good macaroni noodles. The checkout line was really long so I tried the self-checkout but the lady in front of me was trying to buy a watermelon or some kind of mellon and the machine couldn’t weigh it or she didn’t have the right code or something like that. I just got home now so dinner’s going to be a little late. “
So, next time you’re in charge of making dinner and somebody asks you what’s taking so long, you’ll have plenty of excuses for them.
A few days ago I gave some excuses that can get you out of a relationship. Well, sometimes you may want to stay in a relationship but you just don’t want to be obligated to go out on a date every week. I know there have been plenty of times that I just want to stay in my PJs and watch SNL with a glass of champagne and a tub of Rocky Road. To put it another way, I just want to be LEFT ALONE for ONE NIGHT!
Here are some great excuses for breaking a date:
Fight Night: My best girlfriend just had a really nasty fight with her boyfriend and I need to be with her tonight because she’s always there for me.
Pet Peril: My (pet) has been breathing really heavily all day. I’m worried he might be sick and I don’t feel right leaving him here all alone tonight.
Taking Stock: I just got a call from work and they want me to come in at 4 AM tomorrow for inventory, so I’m going to be climbing into bed in about 10 minutes.
Premonition:I had a really bad dream last night about our date tonight and I don’t want to go tonight.*
*I have personally used this on three separate occasions (on three different guys) and it’s like a Get Out of Jail Free card. I don’t know why. For some reason guys just don’t question it. I think it has something to do with dreams being very personal and them not wanting me to think I’m being trivialized.
A few days ago I gave some excuses that can get you out of a relationship. Well, sometimes you may want to stay in a relationship but you just don’t want to be obligated to go out on a date every week. I know there have been plenty of times that I just want to stay in my PJs and watch SNL with a glass of champagne and a tub of Rocky Road. To put it another way, I just want to be LEFT ALONE for ONE NIGHT!