Breaking Up Made Easy
Welcome back honey!As the song says, “breaking up is hard to do”. Sometimes we invest a lot of time and energy in relationships only to eventually realize that person we’re dating is just not "the one" for us. Unfortunately, these kinds of relationships aren’t as easily terminated as your typical Two-Week-Tommy. If you and your significant other have been through a lot together, then you won’t be able to just throw an arbitrary excuse their way and hope it will stick. If they have any sense at all they’ll see right through it.
In my graphic design class at school, we were assigned to create an image that diagrams a particular workflow. I figured I could take this project and make it dual purpose which will please both my teacher and you the readers. Follow this flow-chart of relationship problems to find the perfect break-up excuse for you. (Click the image to view FULL-SCREEN so you can actually read the excuses)
If you are the kind of cold-hearted monster who prefers to break up over Email or Text, here are all the excuses in text form, ready for you to Copy and Paste away.
Fight Reasons
-Sex
-Not Enough: " Intimacy is the most important component to a relationship and our lack of sex is ruining our relationship. "
-Too Much: "All you seem to want is sex and that’s not enough to base a meaningful relationship on."
-Lousy: "We're just not physically compatible."
-Cheater: (If your partner is cheating on you, they don’t deserve an excuse for why you’re breaking up.)
-Money
-Not Enough: "I set a certain standard of living for myself and you’re not meeting it."
-Too Much: "I’m not comfortable with this kind of extravagant lifestyle."
-Work
-Not Enough: "You’re too lazy and I’m not going to get sucked down with you."
-Too Much: "You’re working so much, we don’t spend enough time together and we’ve grown apart."
-Bad Habits
-Knuckle Cracking: "Every time I hear you crack your knuckles, I want to punch you in the face."
-Swearing: "Your swearing makes you seem much dumber than you are and I don’t want to be seen with you."
-Drinking: "I come from a family of alcoholics and I will not tolerate your constant drinking."
-Gum Chewing: "Every time I see you chewing that gum, all I see is a cow chewing it’s cud."
-Nail Biting: "I’m getting sick of finding little bits of your fingernails all over the place. It’s disgusting and I’m leaving."
-Other: "Your (bad habit here) is driving me crazy and I can’t be with you any more."
-Cleanliness
-Too Clean: "Your constant cleaning is insane and borders on obsessive compulsive disorder. I can’t stand to be with you for another second."
-Too Messy: "You keep this place looking like a pigsty and I can’t be with someone so disgustingly messy."
