How to Succeed in Business Without Really Lying
Welcome back honey!
I’ll admit it. I love money. I think it’s just about the best thing there is. When you want to buy things like food or iPods or pretty dresses, money is just about the best way. The problem with money is that usually you can usually only get it by finding it on the ground, stealing it or working a job. I don’t have much luck finding it and I’m not about to rob a bank, so I’m usually stuck working for my spending money. My job entails shuffling around plates of overcooked hamburgers and watered down beer to other people who AREN’T working. I am a waitress.
The problem is that some days are just so beautiful and glorious that I can’t even think about ruining them by going in to work. Unfortunately, my manager doesn’t like when I call him to say I won’t be coming in because the day is just too nice to waste at work. These are days that need a good “get-out-of-work-excuse”.
When I’m calling out to work on the same day I’m supposed to be there, I usually like to rely on last minute mini-emergencies that involve waiting for help to arrive. I think these are particularly good because there is no way an employer can pin the blame on you for these things. Also, since these excuses rely on people like repairmen, it could take all day for the problem to get fixed! Here are a few “out of your hands” situations that are guaranteed to keep the blame as far away from you as possible.
Plumbing Problems: My bathroom sink is leaking and the bucket I put under it is filling up. I need to keep switching the bucket out while I wait for the emergency plumber to show up.
Open Door Policy: The front door fell off my house and I can’t leave until the repairman comes to fix it.
Alarming Situation: My alarm system has been activating randomly and the police keep coming to my house to investigate. The alarm company is finally coming over to fix the system today and I need to be here when they arrive.
Heavy Lifting: My garage door motor broke and the door is too heavy to lift by myself so I’m stuck until the repairman shows up.
Pesky Pests: I just discovered a massive termite swarm in my windowsill and I have to wait for the exterminator to come and get rid of them.
If you have one of those pro-active, problem-solving bosses who says he can send a fellow employee (or worse yet, your boss himself) to come and pick you up for work, simply tell them that you’ve already called the repairman and they will bill you if you’re not there when they arrive. After all, you have to get your garage door fixed sooner or later, right?
