Excuses that should never see the light of day
Welcome back honey!Last week I brought out a book that the ExcuseGal’s parents kept when she was little. It contained all the creative and unbelievable excuses that she had given from ages 4 thru 8. Well, I guess that gave the ExcuseGal the idea to continue the book on her own when she got old enough to do so. So today I'm bringing out The Excuse Book.
Inside these 150 lined pages are over 2000 excuses for just about every topic imaginable. And they’re grouped by topic. As you can see, there are notes here about each excuse. When it was used, who it was told to, etc. Some have smiley faces next to them, which means they were successful. Others have been crossed out completely, which means that for one reason or another they didn’t work.
Now, as I said, there are a lot of excuses in here. Over 2000 by my count. One of my hobbies was actually sitting down to think about hypothetical scenarios that might need excuses, so I could be prepared when they actually happened. The problem with this book, is that some of these excuses were written when I was only 7 or so. So, not only are they nearly illegible, they’re also not very believable.
There are some excuses that are so lame, they just need to be retired from the excuse book altogether. Today I will be reading from the Excuse Book some of my more juvinile excuses from when I was a little ExcuseGal. I’m also going to be crossing off each one with a permanent marker to forever expel them from the book.
Bad Dream: "I can’t go to school today because I had a bad dream."
- I have since refined this and turned it into a valid boyfriend excuse.
Stuffed: "I don’t want to eat dinner because I’m still full from last night’s dinner."
- This one is a pretty flimsy excuse because, well, it’s just stupid. Especially when you just the same excuse two for not eating last night’s dinner.
Dog Gone It: "The dog hid my shoes and I can’t go to school without shoes."
-Maybe if I was a boy, this would work. But girls always have more than one pair of shoes.
No School: "My teacher said today she wasn’t going to class today so we should stay home."
-This is the day mom told me all about the miracle of substitute teachers.