Revolting Excuses
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The 4th of July is a time for hamburgers, hot-dogs and mosquitoes. It’s when we celebrate being American by consuming vast amounts of imported beer and lighting off illegal fireworks. Of course, 200-ish years ago, the 4th of July meant something very different. Our nation was finally free and independent from those meanies, The British Empire. Becoming an independent country didn’t happen overnight. It took plenty of time and cost just as many would-be American’s lives.
Today I wonder just how an American Revolution would work. We have so many better ways to communicate than hanging some lanterns in a church steeple. Between Twitter, Video Cellphones and Facebook, if there were a revolution, rest assured it would be televised... and tweeted. We also have blogs, which are a great way to get people from all over to share their opinions on things. If revolutionaries had access to A Good Excuse Blog wayyyy back then, the USA might not exist right now. Luckily they didn’t and we do. Here are some excuses for those who want to avoid joining a 1770's style Revolution:
Little Suckers: 5 of my 7 children just came down with Typhoid Fever and I need to stay home or else they’ll just take the leeches off as soon as I walk out the door.
Hat-ititude: I can’t revolt today because my Tri-Corner Hat is in the shop getting it’s corners straightened. 
Prior Engadgement: I’d love to go to the battlefield with you today, but I promised my friend Ben Arnold that I’d meet him at West Point for lunch.
Slow Poke: My horse has been depressed lately. He’s been walking so slow that I don’t think I’d even make it to the battlefield until tomorrow.
Party Animal: I just got back from a Tea Party in Boston and I need time to take all this Indian makeup off.
Obviously, these are just joke excuses. I truly love my country and I am proud to say I am an American. And no, I’m not actually counting on any colonial time travelers coming to the future just to read my blog… yet.
An Excuse For an Atrocity?
BP. Ocean. BP & Ocean! Who says that oil and water don’t go mix? From the looks of things online, that’s all anybody has been talking about. Obviously, it’s a major disaster and a serious problem. Home owners along the Southeastern Coast have all seen a rapid drop in value for the near future. Pelicans and Whales are all like “why am I so sticky?” 
Meanwhile all of us “small people” seem to be saying that British Petroleum needs to just admit they did wrong and start cleaning it up. Others say that BP needs to give us a good reason for why it’s taking so long to clean up.
I think what BP needs is a good excuse. They could simply come forward and say “Sorry, we were out of the office for the past 3 months and we just now listened to your voicemail about the whole oil spill thing”. Or they can take the stance I usually take when I unintentionally damage property, which is: “I don’t know. It was a like that when I found it”. Yet somehow, I doubt that anyone would be dumb enough to believe that excuse for this particular situation. Ironically I don’t think an excuse, regardless of how good it is, is even needed for this situation. Just stop talking and get fixing!