Where’s da Money?
Welcome back honey!If today is the 31st of the month, that invariably means that tomorrow will be the first of the month. And if you are a renter of a house, apartment or trailer then tomorrow is when your landlord asks you for money. It’s not unreasonable of them to expect money in exchange for providing shelter, but it’s a little unrealistic to expect that you’ll be able to provide the full amount, month after month.
Landlords can be surprisingly flexible when it comes to the rent. And you can bargan with them if you need to. After all, they’d much rather get some money from you than none at all.
If you find yourself on the first of the month with slightly less than enough money, here are some great excuses to toss your landlord’s way for why you don’t have all the rent..
Bountiful Harvest: "I had the cash for the rent in an envelope on the counter next to my grocery list. My boyfriend saw it and thought I wanted him to take the money to the store. He bought all the groceries on the list and gave me back the money he didn’t spend, so now I’m $200 short."
Call It A Wash: "I explained to my niece that money was dirty and she shouldn’t play with it. I found out today that she took all the money from my cashed paycheck and flushed it down the toilet. The plumber told me it’s not recoverable."
Pet Problems: "My hamster got wedged under his wheel and I took him to the vet because he had some broken ribs. The vet set his ribs in a cast, but it cost $300."
Brakes-Down: "My car broke down yesterday and the mechanic said my brakes had to be replaced and it would cost $320."
I can’t pay the rent but I’m f-ing gorgeous!
I have a real problem with money. It’s not that I dislike it or anything. The problem I have with money is that I can never keep it for very long. It feels like the moment I cash my pay check, all my money just somehow evaporates into thin air. And that lack of money can be a real problem when it comes to paying bills and stuff. One bill in particular that I dislike the most is rent.
That’s why today on A Good Excuse Blog, we’re talking about reasons that “I can’t pay the rent”. Now, if you live in an apartment or are renting a house, there’s a good chance you have a landlord who collects your rent checks. At first, you might think this person is your mortal enemy. “The nerve of him asking for money again, I just paid him last month!”
The truth is, having a landlord you can actually talk to in person is a very good thing when it comes to giving excuses. It’s much harder to be mean to someone when you’re standing right in front of them. Since landlords are people, just like you and me (most of the time), you can play to their sympathies. Try to find an excuse subject they’re sensitive to. If your landlord went to college, tell them your student loan hasn’t been disbursed yet. If your landlord has kids, tell them you’ve had to stay home from work lately because your son, or daugher, or niece or nephew has been sick. If you find a subject that resonates with them, your landlord is much more likely to let you slide on paying the rent.
If you are the landlord’s only tenant, that’s even better. Since evicting tenants is such a legal hassle (and takes months to do) they’d much rather keep you there and have you pay at least some of the rent. Plus, even when they do evict you, the landlord will have to re-list their place and spend even more time trying to find new tenants. Landlords can lose up to three whole months of rent in the process of evicting a tenant and finding a new one.
Unfortunately, if you live in a big apartment complex, you’re a lot less likely to find a sympathetic ear to hurl excuses at. Those kinds of apartments are just as happy to evict you because they know they can fill your empty space back up right away. And even if they don’t fill it immediately, they still have 99 other units who ARE paying rent, so a few months vacancy isn’t a financial hardship for them. The only good excuses that big corporate apartment complexes might believe are ones involving maintenance and personal safety. On the last day of the month, tell them that your dishwasher has a bad connection and you think it's unsafe to use and you aren’t going to pay the rent until it’s fixed.
So, to recap, if you are going to give your landlord an excuse, do it face-to-face, bend your excuse toward a subject they’re sympathetic to and if you live in a large apartment complex, try to use an excuse involving maintenance and personal safety.
Hold On: My job is withholding my most recent paycheck for two weeks because of a computer payroll error. They’re working to fix it but I wont have the rent until next month.
Held Up: I got mugged yesterday and they took all the money from the paycheck I had just cashed. I filled out a police report but the cops told me there’s almost no chance of me getting my money back.
Carded: My ATM card was stolen Tuesday and 600 dollars was taken out of my account. My bank won’t cover the loss since I didn’t report the card missing until after the money was withdrawn.
In the end, it’s unlikely that there’s any excuse that will let you completely get out of paying a month’s rent. It’ll just let you put off paying it for a few weeks or a month. But hey, in that time, maybe you’ll win the lottery! Ah, that wouldn’t matter. Rich people hate paying the rent too.
Standing Tall Despite Being Short on the Rent
Think back. Waaayyy back. Back to a time when you still lived with your parents. Remember how you used to have your own room? Your own bed? Maybe even your own cuddly stuffed farm animal named Professor Pig? Now think really hard; do you remember when those things didn’t to cost you a dime?
If you can still remember a time when rent wasn’t taken care of by a higher power, then chances are you haven’t lived on your own very long. After you leave the warm embrace of Mom and Dad’s house, you often wind up in the bitter cold of the real world. And in the real world you have to pay rent so that you, your bed and your pig can all have somewhere safe to live.
Rent is not cheap. Now I realize that may come as a shock to many of you who have not yet moved out of your parents mansion. To put it in perspective, if you’re bringing home a bi-weekly paycheck you can expect to see 1/3rd of that money (after taxes) fly right out the door to cover rent. Rent is usually the single largest recurring expense most people have and some months you just might not have enough to pay for it.
But there’s no need duck behind the couch every time you think you hear the landlord coming. I have been living on my own for quite a few years and there have been plenty of times when I haven’t had all the rent turned in on the first of the month. If you are a few (hundred) dollars short, I can help you. As with so many things in life, the trick to surviving a “pay rent or quit” notice is A Good Excuse. Here are some great things to tell your landlord next time you don’t quite have all the rent money for the month.
Mommy Dearest: My Mom is in the hospital and I have to pay $15 for parking each time I visit her. I’ve been checking on her every day for almost 2 weeks now, so I’m about $200 short.
Sucker Site: I was buying some school supplies on a website that turned out to be a scam site. They stole my bank account info and took $300 out of my account. I talked to my bank and they’re going to cover the loss, but it’s going to take 10 working days.
Rat Attack: My dog/cat caught a rat the other day which turned out to have some kind of rat disease that infected my dog. I had to take him to the vet and he charged me $200 for the visit and vaccine.