Today’s excuse comes directly from our own ExcuseGal and her childhood growing up. Since, as usual, she’s too camera shy to actually do these video blogs herself, ExcuseGuy will be performing the role of ExcuseGal. So, you’ll just have to imagine he's about a foot and a half shorter and is a girl.
My mom made the best dinners ever. I can still remember coming home from elementary school and sitting down to a nice plate of homemade macaroni and cheese. When I got to high school, my Dad took over making dinners. He worked all day and came home and tried to figure out what to make. As a result, he got pretty great at creating excuses for being late with dinner. I never minded because he worked so hard to take care of me and my sister.
Here are some of my dad’s best "late-dinner" excuses.
Mis-Print: I think the recipe had a typo. It said to bake it for 6 minutes at 350, but it must have meant 60 minutes because it doesn’t look done yet.
The Fallen: I had a cheese soufflé in the oven for us, but the soufflé fell when the oven door slammed. Now I have to start all over on a different recipe.
Late Dinner: I just read today that the last meal of the day should be eaten about 4 hours before you go to bed. Since you typically go to bed at midnight, I pushed dinner back to 8 o’clock.
This final excuse has been copy and pasted directly from an email my dad sent me on my first week of college. I thought it was a great excuse, so I kept the email.
Market Troubles: “…I spent a bunch of time preparing to make macaroni and cheese but then I found out we had no macaroni so I went to the store, but all they had was the big ones which I know you don’t like, so I went to Safeway and got some of the good macaroni noodles. The checkout line was really long so I tried the self-checkout but the lady in front of me was trying to buy a watermelon or some kind of mellon and the machine couldn’t weigh it or she didn’t have the right code or something like that. I just got home now so dinner’s going to be a little late. “
So, next time you’re in charge of making dinner and somebody asks you what’s taking so long, you’ll have plenty of excuses for them.
Summer is a time for getting together with friends and family. That’s a big problem for me because the summer is when I just want to get away from it all. I tend to get very involved when I’m working on something. I don’t like to be taken away from it to go to some party or cookout. Because of this, I’m usually late to these things. It’s not like I just loose track of time or anything. If I’m late to a party it’s because I want to spend as little time there as possible.
Here are some of my most frequently used late-party excuses:
School of Starbucks: I’ll probably be late tonight because I have a class project meeting at Starbucks this evening.
Switching Shifts: A co-worker wants me to take their day shift so I can have tomorrow off. I’m doing the switch for him but I’m still coming to your party, I’ll just be later than I said originally.
Drip Drop: I’m have a leak coming from the apartment above me. The landlord said he’ll be fixing it soon, but I don’t want to leave until I know it’s stopped so I might be a little late to your party.
Family Matters: I’m really looking forward to your party tonight but I have to babysit my niece until 9:30 so I probably won’t be there for the start of it.
What is it about Mondays that make them so unbearable to return to school or work? Is it that brief glimpse of freedom we got over the weekend? Maybe it’s the name Monday itself, it sounds pretty morbid. Or it might be the fact that we know the whole cycle is about to repeat all over again and we are powerless to stop it.
One of my pet peeves is tardiness. I can’t stand when people are late for something. It only makes matters worse when they don’t tell you about their being late until AFTER they already are. This happens frequently at work, with employees showing up 10, 15 even 30 minutes late for their shift. Because of their poor planning, I am forced to stay even longer until they show up. It’s enough to make a person feel completely powerless.
Maybe powerless isn’t quite the right term. I sometimes need to remind myself that I am “master of my own destiny”. Only I am in control of what I do each day. So what if my boss calls me in an hour earlier than I was scheduled? I can always claim to be an hour’s distance away from work. Maybe it’s a really busy day at work and one of my bosses says I need to stay another 2 hours to cover someone who is coming in late. To that I simply reply that I have a school project meeting in a half hour and I need to be there or else I may fail the class
My whole point is that you are in control of your life. Don’t let someone else boss you around, even if their job (and title) is to do so. Being a team player is one thing, but being consistently taken advantage of is another. Here are some time-tested excuses to bring out next time your boss asks you to go “above and beyond” for the job.
Excuses for not coming in to work early:
Team Work: I would come in early but I’m at the library working with my classmates on a school project.
Transmissional Phase: I’m at the mechanic getting my transmission flushed and it won’t be done for at least another hour.
Mislabeled Meds: I took some cough medicine that said “non-drowsey” but it’s making me pretty sleepy and I don’t think I should drive until it wears off in another few hours
Excuses for not staying late at work:
Es-Car-Gone: I need to get right back home because my grandparents are coming over for dinner and they can never find my place unless my car is in the driveway.
Decoration Debacle: My friend’s daughter first birthday party is today and I have to be there soon because all the party decorations are in my car.
Test Day: I have my follow up doctors appointment right after work and I’ve been really anxious about my test results.
What is it about Mondays that make them so unbearable to return to school or work? Is it that brief glimpse of freedom we got over the weekend? Maybe it’s the name Monday itself, it sounds pretty morbid. Or it might be the fact that we know the whole cycle is about to repeat all over again and we are powerless to stop it.