Church for Church’s Sake?
Welcome back honey!It’s Sunday, it’s 7 AM it’s… not time to party. According to my parents, 7 am on Sunday is reserved for getting into your nice church clothes and piling into the car to take an hour long drive to a church that we aren’t even in the same area code as anymore. We would have been much less resistant to church if we could have found one closer to our house. I didn’t really mind attending church (I always drew funny captions on the weeks sermon handout illustration) but wasting nearly a full hour of my precious weekend just to drive there was insane to me.
Here are some heavenly excuses that you can use to get out of church.
Hardwood: I woke up with really bad back pain I don’t think the hard wooden pews will help my situation any.
If it’s Good Enough For the Lord: I need to stay home today and rest, like the Lord did on the Seventh Day in the bible.
Over-worked: I have too much school work to do today and if I wait until we get back from church to start on it, I won’t be in bed until late, which will keep me from paying full attention to my classes on Monday.
Sunday’s Are Fun-Days!
I'll be the first to admit it. I’m not super-religious. I’m also not ultra-devoted to any one particular religion. My parents are though and they made sure that we went to church every single Sunday. That might not have been so bad on it’s own, but for some reason we had to drive 45 minutes each way to some church my Dad went to when he was a kid.
So, we’d get up at 7:30 in the morning, get in the car… Actually, I think it will just be easier if I let the ExcuseGuy explain it...
The only real benefit of our church escapades was that I started to play a game every Sunday where I would see if I could get out of going to church. Here are some great “get-out-of-church” excuses you can use next time you don’t feel like throwing away a perfectly good Sunday morning.
Studious: "I stayed up wayyyy too last night studying for my test on Monday. I think if I went to church, I might end up snoring in the pew. "
Switching Teams: "I was thinking about converting religions and I don’t want to go to church today because I’ll just be making my new God angrier."
Forbidden Fruit: "Something I ate for breakfast must have been expired because my stomach feels awful. I don’t think I should go to church because I might throw up in front of everybody."
Omni-Directional Worship: "Since God is omnipresent, I’m going to spend 90 minutes worshiping him from home instead of going to church this morning."
This last one isn’t so much an excuse as it is a smart-ass comment but it works because it’s just vague enough not to disprove, just like religion.