Take a Vacation from School
Welcome back honey!Today is Saturday, the 14th. Now, that by itself isn’t much. But, if you’re safe and sound on Saturday, the 14th, that means you survived another Friday the 13th. To celebrate, you should all take a day off of school and relax in your own special way.
It’s important to take a breaks from school every so often, and I’m not talking about weekends, or the occasional President’s day. By taking an impromptu day off from school, you’ll be able to gain some very important perspective on life and not have to worry about what the square root of nine hundred and one is , or what date ArchDuke Franz Ferdanand was shot or who wrote Death Be Not Proud.
Here are some easy get-out-of-school excuses to tell your parents in the morning:
Skip the Middleman: I think I have a stomach virus and I don’t want to go all the way to school, throw up, then wait in the nurses office for an hour while waiting to get picked up and taken back home.
Field-Day: I want to go to school today, but I forgot to turn-in the form for my field trip in time so I’d just be stuck there in the library all day not learning anything.
Busy Bees: I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go to school today because they’re removing the bee hive from the tree by my history class and I don’t want to be around a bunch of angry bees.
Think Hard: I have a really bad headache and I feel dizzy. I might be able to go to school, but I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate on any of my classes.
Better Late Than Ever
Being late for school is hardly the worst thing in the world. I think it’s much more conducive to learning if I can get 11 hours of sleep in before class. Unfortunately, my teachers don’t seem to agree with me. Whenever I’m late, they always want some kind of excuse from me. I get the feeling that most of the time, they don’t even listen to my reason, but they just want to make me squirm in front of the class a little longer. Little do they know, I have no shame offering excuses. I love it.
Here are some superb excuses for being late to school.
Clearchannel: "My alarm clock was accidentally set to “radio” instead of alarm, but the volume on the radio was turned all the way down so I didn’t wake up on time"
Spillover: "Some guy spilled his vanilla Frapachino on me while I was studying at Starbucks so I had to go home and change clothes before coming here."
Dreamland: "Last night I had a dream that I went to class, took my test then went right back home and went to bed. When I woke up, I thought that I really had already gone to class today"
He Said, She Said: "Somebody told me that today’s class was starting later because you had a dentist appointment to go to"
Silent Alarm: "My cell phone was set to silent mode and I use it as my alarm clock, so it went off on time but I didn’t hear it to wake up."
That Word For When You Can’t Remember Something…
It’s summer and most of you don’t have to go to school. I do because I’m taking summer school. I’m taking a graphic design class to make the blog prettier. In fact, I’m in class RIGHT NOW as I type this. If you’re in summer school too, here are some great excuses to tell you teacher when you forget to turn in an assignment.
Lys-Dexic: It was due on the 12th? I’m sorry, I have mild dyslexia and I thought it was due on the 21st.
Above and Beyond: I thought that was an extra credit assignment because it was never officially written on the board.
Family Problems: I just discovered that I’m missing a lot of papers in my folder/backpack. I think my little brother might have been going through my stuff again.
Through The Tears: My boyfriend just broke up with me last night and I was crying too much to even see the book pages I was supposed to read. I tried to do the assignment in the morning but I was too depressed to focus on it.
School Days
Presently I don’t have a computer at home. I rely on the computers at my school to do my bidding (and blogging). It seems like the school computers are sucking more than usual lately. Or maybe it’s just school itself that is sucking more than usual. It might be both! I can’t really tell.
You may have noticed (all two of you) that I didn’t make a post yesterday. Well, that’s because I was too busy enjoying the beautiful three-day weekend to come all the way out to the school library to post to the blog. What’s that you say? June 28th isn’t a holiday and there wasn’t a three-day weekend? Well, if that’s true then I sure hope I had a good excuse for not coming to class on a school day. Of course, I did.
The trick to school excuses is to either give them so far in advance that the educator you told the excuse to will forget (which places the eventual blame back on them) or give the excuse so last-minute that your situation is clearly unexpected and urgent. Today we’re going to focus on that first type of excuse. These are the ones planned wayyyy in advance by telling your teacher weeks or months before you want to be absent. This is what con-men would call “working the long-con”.
I really enjoy giving extremely advanced warning of days I’m going to absent. It gives me something fun to look forward to all week. It’s just like a vacation. Sometimes the lead-up to the vacation can be just as enjoyable as the actual trip itself (or even more enjoyable than the trip, if you’re planning a visit to St. Augestine, Florida). The benefit of these types of planned excuses is that if you are a scholarly type who hates to fall behind in their schooling, you can do the day’s assignment ahead of time. This will allow you to enjoy your well earned day off without worry. Let’s get started with our excuses!
Guilt Trip: I’ll be visiting my grandmother in Illinois for her 80th birthday next month. She’s moving to a retirement home and this is the last time she’ll have all of her family together in the same house our grandpa built.
Tonsil Trouble: I am having my tonsils removed next month. My doctor says it takes three days to recover and I’m doing it on Friday so I’ll only miss one day of school.
Special Appointment: I have a doctor’s appointment next month. The doctor’s a specialist and the only time slot I could get was in the middle of the day.
Jury Rigging: I have Jury Duty on the 28th of next month so I won’t be in class that day.
A Moving Experience: My best friend is moving to a new city on the 28th of next month and I’m helping him/her pack. Since it’s probably the last time I’ll see him/her, I want to spend the entire day helping out.
Note, as with any of the excuses here on A Good Excuse Blog, you’ll want to add little details to make these excuses fit your life better. Don’t ask to be excused for your Granny’s 80th B-Day if she’s 95 and already dead. Likewise, don’t give these excuses to educators who have contact information for the people you’re supposedly doing things with!