Take a Vacation from School
Welcome back honey!Today is Saturday, the 14th. Now, that by itself isn’t much. But, if you’re safe and sound on Saturday, the 14th, that means you survived another Friday the 13th. To celebrate, you should all take a day off of school and relax in your own special way.
It’s important to take a breaks from school every so often, and I’m not talking about weekends, or the occasional President’s day. By taking an impromptu day off from school, you’ll be able to gain some very important perspective on life and not have to worry about what the square root of nine hundred and one is , or what date ArchDuke Franz Ferdanand was shot or who wrote Death Be Not Proud.
Here are some easy get-out-of-school excuses to tell your parents in the morning:
Skip the Middleman: I think I have a stomach virus and I don’t want to go all the way to school, throw up, then wait in the nurses office for an hour while waiting to get picked up and taken back home.
Field-Day: I want to go to school today, but I forgot to turn-in the form for my field trip in time so I’d just be stuck there in the library all day not learning anything.
Busy Bees: I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go to school today because they’re removing the bee hive from the tree by my history class and I don’t want to be around a bunch of angry bees.
Think Hard: I have a really bad headache and I feel dizzy. I might be able to go to school, but I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate on any of my classes.
Better Late Than Ever
Being late for school is hardly the worst thing in the world. I think it’s much more conducive to learning if I can get 11 hours of sleep in before class. Unfortunately, my teachers don’t seem to agree with me. Whenever I’m late, they always want some kind of excuse from me. I get the feeling that most of the time, they don’t even listen to my reason, but they just want to make me squirm in front of the class a little longer. Little do they know, I have no shame offering excuses. I love it.
Here are some superb excuses for being late to school.
Clearchannel: "My alarm clock was accidentally set to “radio” instead of alarm, but the volume on the radio was turned all the way down so I didn’t wake up on time"
Spillover: "Some guy spilled his vanilla Frapachino on me while I was studying at Starbucks so I had to go home and change clothes before coming here."
Dreamland: "Last night I had a dream that I went to class, took my test then went right back home and went to bed. When I woke up, I thought that I really had already gone to class today"
He Said, She Said: "Somebody told me that today’s class was starting later because you had a dentist appointment to go to"
Silent Alarm: "My cell phone was set to silent mode and I use it as my alarm clock, so it went off on time but I didn’t hear it to wake up."
Homework? What Homework?
Stop me if you've heard this one before; A Teacher is sitting at his desk, talking to a student who failed to turn in their homework. The Teacher says: “On Monday you said your homework blew away. On Tuesday you said your father accidentally took it to work with him. On Wednesday you said your little sister tore it up. On Thursday you said someone stole it. Today I asked you to bring your mom and dad to school with you so we can discuss this problem. Now where are your parents?”
The student thinks a bit and then replies ”My dog ate them”.
I know what it’s like to not have your homework. I can think of plenty of times when I showed up to class completely unprepared. I always managed to come up with a good excuse for why I didn't have my homework. Amazingly enough, each one of the aforementioned “joke” excuses can be fine tuned to be a totally useful “real” excuse that you can use to tell your teacher next time they ask you where your homework is.
Here are some great excuses for not turning in your homework:
Homework Sucks: I was reviewing my homework answers this morning on the ride to school. The window rolled down on the freeway and it sucked my homework and some other papers out of the car/bus.
None of His Business: I got a text message from my dad who said he accidentally took my homework with him to work this morning.
Re-Purposed: My little brother used my homework on a paper mache’ recycling project for his 3rd grade class. I would bring it in to show you, but he had to bring it to his own class today.
Back-Track-Pack: I accidentally left my backpack on the bus this morning. My mom called the bus company, who said they found it and I’ll be able to get it back today after school.
Pet Peeve: My dog ate my homework, but he must not have liked it because he threw it up later. I would bring it in but it smelled terrible and I didn’t want to put it in my backpack.
That Word For When You Can’t Remember Something…
It’s summer and most of you don’t have to go to school. I do because I’m taking summer school. I’m taking a graphic design class to make the blog prettier. In fact, I’m in class RIGHT NOW as I type this. If you’re in summer school too, here are some great excuses to tell you teacher when you forget to turn in an assignment.
Lys-Dexic: It was due on the 12th? I’m sorry, I have mild dyslexia and I thought it was due on the 21st.
Above and Beyond: I thought that was an extra credit assignment because it was never officially written on the board.
Family Problems: I just discovered that I’m missing a lot of papers in my folder/backpack. I think my little brother might have been going through my stuff again.
Through The Tears: My boyfriend just broke up with me last night and I was crying too much to even see the book pages I was supposed to read. I tried to do the assignment in the morning but I was too depressed to focus on it.